The psychological effect ", "empathy

Love and marriage , any more than human relations are more likely cause of these latent "psychological buttons . " An unconscious act of the spouse , or a careless words are enough to bring us back to the past, the emotional state of those painful experiences , as if looking to return , and in the subconscious mistake , carelessness led us to the current old Emotional experience that the past has hurt us, bring us suffering, this is the psychology called " Empathy "(transference) phenomenon .

So he wanted to transform our spouses , I hope these past painful experiences no longer occur . Also expect our spouses to become perfect fantasy parents, spouses , as required , like a loving God completely , to meet all our needs, heal the psychological trauma we have all . If the spouse can not, once again let us down , old passions intertwined , they create new , or more intense "psychological buttons . "

In accordance with human nature , can not love enemies . In particular, when wounded , let alone the most intimate and the most hateful spouse , any sweetness . Usually our response is accused of ? point accusation), criticism (criticism), contempt (contempt), the Cold War (stone-walling), fight back , hurt each other, to set each other to death . No wonder most of the couples at this time , even touch each other feel sick , can never expect to have sexual gratification of the sexual relationship.